7 Signs of Shyness (and What to Do About Them)

Make your networking work better

Learn how to network more effectively and boost your business from the founder of Shanghai Networking News.

Shanghai Networking News has helped thousands of networkers in Shanghai get better results. We can help you too

Store

Feeds (What's a feed?)
	Articles This month's events
New articles by email

Search

Login

Friends

7 Signs of Shyness (and What to Do About Them)

Shyness. It strikes us all at some point and can be great liability in building business connections, making friends, looking for love and a whole host of other things. Previously we dealt with looking more confident, and this time round we're going to do the opposite and look at shyness.

You may be shy or completely outgoing, but here are a few signs that can make you seem like a bit of wallflower, and what to do about them:

1. Making and breaking eye contact

Making eye contact with someone only to break it as they acknowledge you sends the wrong signal, namely that you've registered them but don't think they're worth talking to. Maintain eye contact and move in for an introduction.

2. Sticking to the wall

You're not at your first prom or school disco any more, so lower your defences and move away from the wall. Standing in the middle of the floor and relaxing makes you look super-confident and a lot more approachable.

3. Mumbling

If no one can understand what you're saying you may seem enigmatic and mysterious, but you're more likely to look nervous or like your false teeth have fallen out. The answer's simple, just speak louder and more clearly. That way people will know what you're talking about and will want to talk to you more.

4. Shielding yourself

Holding your drink up to your mouth or in front of you when you're talking sends out signals that you're trying to hide behind it. Move your Bacardi Breezer of Justice or Tsingdao of Strength to your side. The rest of us won't bite. Much.

5. Hunching and using closed body language

Making yourself as small as possible only works as a defence mechanism for hedgehogs. Don't be afraid to spread out and take up room. You'll be more noticeable, more approachable and get lots more connections that way.

6. Speakingtooquickly

Haveyouevermetsomeonewhospokelikethis? Don't be that person. Take a deep breath, relax and slow down. The slower you speak, the calmer and more in control you'll seem, and you won't be stuck for words since you'll have time to think about what to say next.

7. Being mo.no.syl.la.bic

Speaking too quickly is bad, but being monosyllabic is even worse. If you've been in a conversation, and answered every question with "yes," "no" or by using as few words as possible, this might be a problem for you. Again, the key is to relax. Have a drink or two to loosen up, and try to use some follow-up questions in the conversation, like "and you?", "how did you get into that?", "what did you think of that?" or "why?". Holding up your end of the conversation will make you more memorable and boost your confidence for next time.