Rapport. You've either got it, or you haven't. Today we're going to share one of the most effective mechanisms for generating rapport -- a technique called mirroring.

Do you remember that annoying game you played when you were a kid? The one where you copied whatever your "friend" did until they went ballistic and tried to choke you with Lego bricks? Looking back on it, it all seemed a little dumb but your younger self might just have been onto something...

While imitation was a bane to your poor friend's life back then, if done correctly it can also be great for generating that spark of instant rapport. The trick is to take it slow and steady, and (obviously) not to be a child about it.

When people get along, their gestures and body language tend to synchronise. Take a look at your own body language when you're with a friend. Chances are if their legs are crossed, yours will be as well. The same goes for all sorts of other body language. Generally, this is all subconscious. It's when you start controlling it consciously that it becomes interesting.

Next time you're with someone you don't know very well, pay attention to their posture, body language and gestures, then gradually copy certain aspects. If they're leaning forwards, lean forwards. If they've got their arms folded, fold yours as well. Don't do this right away of course, and make it seem as natural as you can. It can feel weird if you know you're being mirrored in this way, so keep it subtle, otherwise the other party will probably feel uncomfortable. With a little practice, this mirroring will become more and more natural, until it's almost second nature.

Mirroring's not just useful for generating rapport either. Body language is a two-way street, so the way you hold yourself, the expression on your face and the gestures you make don't just indicate how you feel -- they also influence your mood in return. Try it for yourself: next time you're feeling blue, force yourself to stand up straight with your chest out and shoulders back, and smile widely. Much more difficult to feel upset now, right? Once you've built up enough rapport with someone, they'll start to take cues from your body language as well, so you can influence their mood through your posture, gestures and expressions.

Everyone does this on a sub-conscious level already. By using your conscious mind as well, you can take it up a notch and really get the rapport-generating machinery into gear. Remember, it all boils down to:

1. Watch the other person's body language
2. Subtly copy it for some time
3. Vary your own body language to change their mood

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